Sometimes you have the kind of day when you just want to crawl into a bucket of cupcakes and have someone wake you up next week. I’m having that kind of day. Whether it’s the wind blowing your skirt over your head, anything involving bird poo or waving at a random stranger with heart-warming effusion, you dropping the contents of your bag all over the floor or the shameful episode that just happened to me in Tesco, we’ve all had those days. Days like this require nothing more complicated than ice cream and a spoon or perhaps a batch of cookies (these to follow later in the week, they’re so good) or something carb-based and starchy. This is the kind of day for a 6 minute supper. Yeah, Jamie Oliver, hear that, 6 minute meals are going down around here.
What happened in Tesco, you ask? I only had to pay for a £30 shop in coins. Oh that’s not so bad you reply. It is when you find yourself at the only working self-serve till at the time of the lunchtime rush, with the wrong bank card, and small denomination coins. When the queue behind you is snaking the whole shop and some 16 year old boy with pimples is standing behind you tapping his foot and sighing and huffing. Also you realise you’ve run out of coins and you have to put the remaining 63p on your other card. I nearly wept. Yeah. I win at the unfortunate things!
Counteracting the feeling of being one of those people unfortunate things happen to isn’t the easiest. Especially when your day has begun in such a way but I do have one form of tempering this hell, medicating the shame. Feel domestic. That’s it. The second you feel like a domestic goddess again, all of this will fly out of the window and you’ll return to smugly browsing the Anthropologie website pretty certain that the world wants to be you. And not, in the case of me and Tesco, wanting to brain you with their shopping. How do you do such a thing you ask me? Well you could make some scones and serve them on a doily, you could organise your spare bathroom towels (if you have spare bathroom towels that don’t double up as cat capture and restraint devices, you are SO grown up and domesticated and you really don’t need this advice), you could line up your pencils or pens in a rainbow (this is one of my favourite things to do, you can’t beat putting felt tips back in a pack in order – just me? probably) or you could take 5 minutes out of your day and make this rather splendid herby butter. The sight of the jar in your fridge will make you feel like such a domestic goddess, I promise. Another win on the succeeding at life business is the excellently snazzy border and wording you’ll find henceforth on my photographs, well most of them. Yes, in your face pimple-boy.
This herb butter takes about 3 minutes and then you can make that carby 6 minutes soother I told you about. I’m not even going to give you a recipe and you can do this with a sharp knife and a big spoon, although I used my teeny-tiny magimix which cost about £10 in a large supermarket, that I shall probably never revisit after today, and I really recommend buying one. While you could only make pastry for a family of mice in it, there isn’t a time when chopping something really small isn’t a complete bore. These gadgets chop it really small and save you getting chilli under your nails, which despite everything and all intentions always ends up making contact with some sensitive tissue. If there’s a better recommendation for a product than that, I’m not sure I’ve met it.
So you’ll want a pack of unsalted butter, a pack of parsley (which you have to take away from the cat who’s batting it about the kitchen like it’s a new and exciting toy), several cloves of garlic, a red chilli and the juice and zest of lemon. At this point you can either whizz everything but the butter superfast in your little mixer. Add the butter, whizz again and then spoon into a little jar for the fridge. Or you could make sure your better is fairly soft and after chopping everything into tiny pieces with a super sharp knife, you could smush it all together with the back of a spoon. This will keep in the fridge for about two months but I challenge you not to use it all in one day. I’ve already consumed a heap of it spooned on to a roast chicken, a scrape across a baguette before filling with mayonnaise and cold roast chicken and salad. I have a dream that I’ll have enough left to pop a chunk on a rare steak and I made this nifty 6 minute supper.
6 Minute Carby Supper containing my Amazing Herb Butter
Boil some pasta, mine took 6 minutes. Yours might take longer. Drain, stir in butter, sprinkle with parmesan. See, satisfying and suitable for THOSE kind of days.
And as for Tesco, I’m just going to avoid it for a while.